AN OPEN LETTER TO MY BIRTH MOTHER

To my birth mother:

There are no words to express my gratitude for the unselfish act you did 42 years ago.  You made a horribly painful decision, and because of your sacrifice; I am having a wonderful and fulfilling life.  I love you for what you did for me.

However, there is emptiness in my heart that only YOU can fill – my mother, the one that gave me life.  You hold the answers to so many questions I have about myself. Were you athletic? I excelled in sports growing up (Volleyball, Softball, Gymnastics, Running). What are health issues I should be aware of since I’m getting older? Who gave me my silly sense of humor? You hold the answers to such basic questions, and yet for me they’ve been a lifetime of wonder?

As I sit on subways, buses and trains, when I’m in crowded parts of Seoul, I look into the eyes of women and wonder what painful story they have in their past? Did it include giving up a child at one month old? Could that lovely woman sitting across from me on the subway, hold a dear secret that could make me whole in my heart?

I understand the difficulties of circumstances in life, and if you can’t come forward and have a relationship with me; I can respect your situation. But I hope this isn’t the case.  I hope you want to know me, as much as I want to know you.  I may have gone far away from you to grow-up, but you are still a part of me as I am a part of you. 

Please hear my cry again, come and hold me and tell me you love me again, and this time know you never have to let go.

I love you.